How dissatisfaction can trigger Change

Day 7 of my writing challenge. Prompt - Write to your kids or to your younger self.

Writing to oneself is kind of awkward but sometimes it's just a way to remind us of what we did in the past and what we need to do in the present. This letter is dedicated to the author of this blog. :)

Dearest You, 

How are you nowadays? I hope you are doing fine and everything is okay. 

I have several questions for you, please answer it honestly so we can move on from there.

Where were you a year ago?

I remember you said it will be a busy year for you.  What did you do then?

You even told me  you have to set some goals to accomplish on or before the year 2013 ends.

Did you ever accomplish it?

Did you set it in the first place? Did you at least put it in writing?

I remember you just got back this time of the year last year from a nice vacation in your homeland. You were with your husband Ton and daughter Isabel. You were very happy that after almost 3 years of not going back you celebrated 2 of the most important occasions people celebrate, the Christmas and New Year with your son and the whole family.

You and your family were very happy, it was also the first time that you’ve met the mother of your soon to be born grandchild, Lila.

You had a very beautiful memories of that vacation which the three of you can’t help but reminisced every now and then and leaving you all to want to go back again. 

You were also back to your job at a nursing home. You were happy because before you left for your vacation, you were given a permanent contract.

What entails your job? Are you really happy with it? Were you contented with the routines you were doing every time you go to work? Has it measured up to your expectations?

I remember too that you set up a goal to lose weight, you even created a page in Facebook, the Health Journals and Journey in May and created a related YT video about it “ Introduction to my Weight Loss Journey”which I should say needs some improvement but I understand it was only your second video. Well for one I admired your courage, overcoming the fear and criticisms is always a great thing.

What happened? Did you attain it?

You also bought a lot of new books like The Virgin Diet which actually paved the way for you to continue your quest to lose weight. When you started and followed it, immediately after 7 days you saw results already, you lost about 3kg and that was why it motivated you to go on with it and eventually had you  losing 10kg.

But did you ever finish reading it? I bet you did not just like all the other new books you purchased that I know will help you in one way or another to improve anything you like in your life.

You even joined Juice Up Your Life and started juicing but that was it, you didn't follow the plan to the letter. But it made a positive impact on you because you immediately love juicing.

You will start but you will procrastinate. Was that the right word? Procrastination? I wanted to say you were getting so popular with that.  When are you really going to delete that word in your 
vocabulary? 

You did a lot actually last year. Should you be proud of it? You joined a 90 day transformation contest about improving the 3 categories in your life, the health, wealth and the wise category. You were so enthusiastic at first but never really did your best to get results in all the categories.

Why? Were you really serious about it? I know you were but you lack the confidence to give it all your best.

The only positive about this part was that you met some new friends all over the world who were also trying to change something in their lives. Were they successful? Some of them were because they were actually chosen as winners and most of them probably achieved some changes just like you but were you really satisfied with the results? I know you were not because until now you were still struggling to accomplish something which will bring some changes. That’s the word, you need CHANGE.

I was very happy when you tried to build a website of your own. You named it after you. It was at www.arlineraijmakers.com” Again you were so enthusiastic at first. As I have said, you were known to be like that. What was your reason then? Did you ever really think that it was going to be easy without a background on how to do it? I guess you did.

You built it through following a YT instructional video. And I was kind of amazed that you were able to really follow it. There were of course some mistakes along the way but at the end of it  you achieved results. But you lost momentum along the way and decided to cancel it. Weren’t  you embarrassed of yourself?

When are you going to stick to something you really want to do and not stopping but persisting until you see results? When exactly? Tell me so I can tell you to set real goals and achieve real results.

Write them down and stick to it. Work on it every day and don’t be discourage at a sign of failure, maybe your approach was not effective so try another one and don’t stop. Will you do that for me? Please…

I know you did a lot more, you even purchased some online courses about blogging, the Learn To Blog but again you were doing the same thing, very eager to learn but eventually putting it off as if there's always tomorrow to begin again. When are you going to learn your lessons? I am really getting tired of it and I was on the verge of giving up on you. You wouldn’t like it, will you? 

The one thing I like about you though is that you don’t stop dreaming and trying things. But the worst thing you always do is stopping without really achieving results and jumping on the next opportunity to only repeat what you have done in the past. Wasn’t that so annoying already? Did you ever get angry with yourself? Just to let you know I was and still is angry that you can’t bring yourself to a better position.

Yes, I also remembered something few weeks before last year ended. You were at one point in your life that you got so depressed. You were not happy at all, even your husband was telling you to look on the positive side of life. But you can't seem to pull yourself up together. You were blaming the weather, you believed that winter is a depressing weather at least according to a lot of people.  You lost interest. You were just very lonely. But isn’t it that we are the ones creating how our emotions would be? You understood what I meant, right? 

I am sure you were already so tired of not getting more results in what you were doing? But did you ever reflect on it? Did you ever ask yourself what was it that you were doing wrong? You never really learned, didn’t you? Are you ready with the truth? And did you know that the truth hurts? I bet you do.

Are you ready to hear it then? Let us be brutal here… You were afraid, you didn’t have that courage to really step out of your comfort zone. You were a procrastinator. You never really learn from the mistakes that you have done in the past. You were satisfied with how your life was/is. You were a starter but not a finisher. You lack the right discipline to get you continuously motivated.

So for the last time I will ask you, When are you going to change? You talk about it in the past, but did you keep applying it in your life?  Do something this year, really do something and make it right, go on even when the race  gets tough. 

Achieve results, go for what you really want and vision SUCCESS. Pull yourself up together because I really want you to be successful this year. Concentrate on what you really want and just GO FOR IT… NO EXCUSES.  Can you promise me that?

One last thing, I know you were dissatisfied with what happened in your life last year so this year I want you to move, act and reach for that star no matter what… Do not just settle for good, exceed your limitations. Get better and DO NOT GIVE UP.. Because when you give up that’s when you stop fighting.

I care for you and I love you, so love yourself more because when you do, you will see results and changes. Do not take for granted the magnificent power of prayers and remember God will never ever forsake you. You know He is always there for you.

Good luck and God bless always,

Your loving self,

Arline