What happened in the past few days

I realized I haven't been very inspired to write. My last post "How the power of words can impact our life" was almost a month ago.There were attempts to write but I just can't get myself to finish what I have started. It was like the words were nowhere, I was struggling.

Am I beset with what the writers call "the writer's block"? I guess so. The Wikipedia defined it as a condition, primarily associated with typing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. The condition ranges from difficulty in coming up with original ideas to more extreme examples in which some "blocked" writers have been unable to work for years, and some have even abandoned their supposed lifelong careers.

If experienced writers can have it, then it wasn't that bad and I haven't been writing that long yet so maybe it's just understandable to experience this situation.Am I excusing myself? :)

So I thought I should just write free, which is usually an advice given by seasoned authors if one is just starting to write.  I am writing whatever is in my mind. I am doing it while sitting here in our sala with my husband and while the television is on. We are supposed to be watching the movie but at the same time "working" on our laptops too. Anyway, it's an action movie and it starred one of my favorite Chinese actor Jet Li.

What have I done today? I forced myself to feel better because the last few days I wasn't in my good element. It wasn't like the days when I am so motivated to do a lot of things. I am still figuring out why I got sick after the first day of the week.

Last Monday, I was invited by one of my Filipina friends to have lunch in her place. I was just one of the 5 invited who went there. We had fun and enjoyed the Filipino recipes prepared for us. Some of us even ate with our bare hands. It was an enjoyable meal and we all felt so full after eating. The fruit salad was also delicious. After the chats and laughs we all went home before 5 pm.

After having dinner with my husband and daughter, I got a headache. I took 2 paracetamols but it didn't help at all and until I went to bed, the headache was there.  That night, I also had difficulty sleeping.

When I woke up in the morning of Tuesday, I was still having the headache and worse dizziness. It was like I was in the water, I had blurred visions. I lied down in the sofa and massaged my hands especially the space between the thumb and the forefinger. I massaged it in circular motion until the pain was almost gone, I did it with both my hands and luckily after that my dizziness was gone.

I have learned that from one of my Chinese colleagues back in 1992 when I was still working as a company nurse in the Philippines. And whenever I was having dizziness I do that to relieve it and it doesn't fail to make me better.

Aside from headache and dizziness, I felt so weak, I felt I have no energy at all. I was not even motivated to exercise which I have been doing almost everyday since January. It went on until Wednesday. I had pain in my back, muscle pain, I had general malaise.  It was like having flu without the fever.

What was wrong with me? What could probably affecting my body, my energy and my motivation? Could it be the food, the stress and anxiety? I wasn't sure but I had a clue.

I thought I knew what was the culprit. It was all the food mostly loaded with gluten and some dairy which I am not used to eat anymore. Since November 2012, when I started the Virgin diet, I was almost gluten free. Not only that but I have avoided the 7 Hi Fi foods discussed in the V diet which included dairy, eggs, peanut, corn, soy, and artificial sweeteners.  I said almost  gluten free because sometimes I can't avoid it especially when eating out or had to go to a party or invited to eat that saying no was very hard.

Every time it happened, I always had to suffer more or less some of the symptoms mentioned above. And since I had an idea of what might have caused it I've decided last Wednesday to force myself to exercise because I thought it'll help, drank a lot of water, ate mostly greens and made myself green juice. I felt a little better but not like when I am 99% feeling great.

Thursday, I was still able to go to work even if I was not really feeling well. I worked for 4 hours but even before I left the workplace, I was already having a headache and feeling dizzy. In the car, everything was blurred and I told my husband I was having a throbbing pain in my head.  I thought it was probably because I haven't eaten my dinner yet so I prepared myself a healthy dinner, took paracetamols and after an hour or 2 the headache kinda subsided. I went to bed still with headache and had difficulty falling asleep again.

The next morning Friday, I woke up with a blurred vision, again like I was submerged in water and having dizziness and headache. I massaged that hallow space between the thumb and forefinger and likewise my head. Somehow it helped, the pain subsided and so I was able to take care of my daughter who had to go to school .

I decided to go back to bed and sleep again. I said maybe it will be gone once I had enough sleep. But when I woke up before 12 noon, it was just the same still with dizziness and headache.

I had to call my colleague to tell them I can't go to work because I was sick. The whole day I was so miserable. I was weak, I was in pain, I was depressed. I was trying to utilize the mind over matter principle but it wasn't working at all. My physical body was bringing me down.

Today, I am not yet cured or healed but I forced myself to get better. I called work and told them I can work tomorrow. I forced myself to exercise because I said maybe after sweating it out I will feel better. I made green juice, drank a lot of water, ate mostly healthy and really tried harder to feel better.

I was still having a minor headache until now but I am feeling so much better. Tomorrow it will be great again. 

I hope I can go back to where I was when I was so motivated and inspired to write.

I will try my best, I will do my best. I can do it and I will do it. :)

What about you? What do you do when you are not feeling well? How do you deal with situations when you are not motivated or inspired to do anything?

Please share your thoughts and tips about how you deal with these situations. Thank you for your  precious time shared with me. I appreciate it greatly.


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